Sunday, January 31, 2010

Sticks and stones can break my bones.........

And skateboarding does one hell of a good job too. So i was walking up my basement steps tonight and....... crack. Damn its out again. My knee, or Ka-nee as i like to say. I tried to manipulate it back into place but only made it half way this time. Damn it again.
 I have been riding the ol stunt wood for roughly 24 years. I'm 30 years OLD. Do the math. I think the years skating out weighs the years of  being alive. In a way..... Hey ya know what; math was never my forte.
  Anyway take those years of  skating and general foolish behavior. Now add working years. I have been detailing automobiles for about 13 years or so. Kinda hard on the old joints and vertebra's. It does however give you one hell of a upper body workout. Any job other than that was pretty much in one industrial setting or another. But wait lets add a few more factors.......5 kids, backyard mechanics, and the pressure and stress of my own personal economic hell. Yum that's a great concoction. Full of minerals and vitamins. Does a body good.
 So it was more than a year ago that i really blew it out. I went to the E.R., that accomplished a "were not sure what you did". Oh great! Thanks Doctor. I figured out how to "pop" it in and out on my own. Like a cool party trick. Only it hurts a little....... Well alot.
 After much debate between Angel and I, I'm going to see a ortho in a few weeks. It should be interesting. I guess I'm done convincing myself it will heal on its own.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Then i had this fleeting thought during a early morning cigarette......

 When i got over the initial shock of being unemployed, I somehow fooled myself into thinking I would have a new job in a week or two. Well that's not really the case. I made countless calls, mailed resumes, followed up and nothing. Nothing at all.
It seems like my days are just blending together. I try really hard to not let that happen. Trying to re-discover things you like or want to do can be a scary adventure. It feels like i have less time with my family then i did when working. Your constantly scanning the horizon for change, a chance, a way to take care of  the people you love. Then i had this fleeting thought during a early morning cigarette......
What if i never have a traditional job again? What if i don't want to sweat for someone else anymore? What if i don't want to crawl on my hands and knees. I don't want to fix the work that's been undone anymore.
The more I'm out of the 9-5, the more i reject everything its about. I think I always have. Its not to say if offered a job, i wont take it. Out of desperation. The whole world is spinning out of control. The government just sits back and watches us try to recover. Well i wont recover the way they want me too.
 I could survive and live happy on my terms or live just to survive..........

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Every boys first love......Mom

If you haven't called your Mom. Call her. Stop by with a coffee. Give her a hug.
If you haven talked for years, make amends. She gave you life. Made the fingers you use to blog,
and the eyes your reading this with.........

sitting on the dilapidated green chair in the living room, eating a poptart, and watching project runway.

So the eldest in the house of female persuasion says my last post might get some bad response.
Awwwwh come on, that was funny in my opinion. Besides no one is reading it anyhow.
Anyway shes watching the Purina Incredible Dog Challenge and we don't even have a dog.
I'm blessed with a cat that likes to "clean" his ass where ever i happen to be! I could be sitting on the dilapidated green chair in the living room, eating a poptart, and watching project runway. There he is .......positioned on the coffee table in just a way that i cant see and............ licking away.
Its disturbing.
Yes i said it. I watch Project Runway. With my daughters of course.
Yes i have nakie barbies for sale on E-Bay. Really, its ridiculous when i really think about it. A little creepy factor too. Ah the wonderful world of online sales. Who ever thought of buying a barbie then defacing it,(literally) repaint and cloth it, then sell it for 300 dollars....?.... Really now what the.....wait is this a ....umm....hold on.............
<---- WTF IS THIS?!!!!!

O.k. I respect the art and what not, but that.......
I have in my many hours of free unemployed "down" time researched this ooak thing. I have found some really neat ones.

Do you think this one
comes with 22 little baby barbies?

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Its so cliche but I can't help saying it

I really could not sleep last night. Well, i did sleep but my mind was racing at the same time. What do I want to write about? Maybe a quick review of where Im currently at in life. Maybe a in-depth story of my life? How about where i have been in life? Maybe now is all that matters right now.

Where am I, who am I? I'm a unemployed, father of 5. I live with my fiance Janet, and she is the the love
of my life.
You know what, I'm not into this history of my life shit right now. Lets talk about love.
"The love of my life." Its so cliche but I can't help saying it. Our relationship has been, and continues to be so unique it's hard to put such a boring label on it. I really learned that true love is something you can't learn. There is no formula or explanation. No cure either. Its like a first crush that never goes away.
Janet or Angel as i call her has stood by me at all costs. She continues too. I can say i believe she loves me. In loves truest form. There are so many facets to us, they just sorta blend and blur.
The clear part is two people that love each-other. Two people that loved each-other upon first site (ya I know more cliche terms).
You can find someone. You can let them go. You can't always find them again. I did. We did.
I never really let her go. I don't believe she really let me go. It was circumstance. The perfect
right time at the wrong time.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

i lost all direction already

So i wanted to try the blog thing for a while now. Already I don't know what i want to say. It seems like my main purpose for this already lost its main purpose. I seem to be suffering from some kinda creative block. I can only attribute this to the past few years of my life. The best things have happened and the well.......I'll put them as the most trying things too.
I suppose i should explain why the hell i'm here, and why i think i have the right to use a piece of the information super highway. Maybe what i might say will help someone. Maybe it will just make someone laugh as they watch there lives tick toc by in their cubical. I don't know.
I do know that what i write and when i write it might not follow any particular order..... WOW that might be just it. I'm some how making myself think i need to follow a format. Like a bloggers "hand book".
Back to what i was saying. I'm going to say what i think. Like it or not. Might even cuss a little (sorry mom). I'm not a professional writer, but my life is very entertaining that i can assure you.
Follow it if you want, read it, forget it, I don't really care. This is my life. starts with moment, idea, experience. A good decision or a miss-judgment. Its all irrelevant really.