Sunday, April 22, 2012

Death is a sneaky little thing isn't it.

This has been in draft since 12/12/10
I guess I lost focus or something.

Tuesday, December 27, 2011


Some of you might know, I have three kids. Their Mother is not there. She is a drug addict and an alcoholic. She turned her back on them years ago. I moved on and have dealt with the repercussions of her decisions. I have done my best to ease the pain, heal the wounds, and absorb the anger they feel.

I have and continue to raise them the very best I can.

My children's "Mother" committed suicide on Christmas day.

Although they have not had a relationship in quite some time, this is going to be a hard punch to the stomach.


Thursday, December 1, 2011

I was tempted to delete every post on this blog.
I am not entirely sure why.

I may do something.
I am not entirely sure.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

I'm still here. I'm always here.
Bad grammar and good behavior.
Broken cigarettes, broken teeth.
Misdirected positivity, misguided society.

"Ever get they feeling you've been cheated?"

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Its always the unavoidable that hurts the most. The split second that makes a pit in your stomach.....and  words that will mold the rest of your life. Words that if said one to many times, may come true. You can only take certain words back so many times before they stick. Starting of like a germ on a doorknob, quickly turning into the flu.
If this is what it is it will never go away. There will be no later dates, just the nauseous, gnawing pain of what was.
I am trying to keep that pit from rising, I feel as though I'm losing.

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Paypal, old snacks, and coffee purchased with change.

My girl has a Nana.
Her Nana is a nice lady.
Sometimes she sends over "snacks" and what not. Candy, pre-packaged crackers, and other such sort of miscellany.
So when accepting above named kind gestures from old people,
Heed this warning:


While on my way home for work this evening, I stopped for gas.
Deciding to use my Paypal debit card was obviously a shit idea. I stuck it in the slot and waited, and waited, as I impatiently uttered what the fuck under my breath the pump started to chirp at me.....
Please see attendant.
Muttering what the fuck again, I proceeded to try again....same result.
What the fuck.
The very oriental lady was waiting for me. Is oriental "P.C".?
I handed her my card. She looked it over as if I had handed her a strange ancient artifact.
"you debit"?
"run it as credit please, I haven't set up a pin yet"
Her eyes widened.
"You steal! Thief! This no you card!Thief!"

I shit you not people.

"No really its mine, see here's my license" (Trying to keep my calm)
"I no believe"
"Fine I'll go to the fucking station down the card please" (Losing control of calm)
"Oh...fine I try...deb or cred"?
"Whatever works...".

Again...what the fuck?

Frustrated I slammed the nozzle into my little p.o.s., then the pump turned off.
Yeah just my pump. Yeah.

"Auw, you try num 4".

After on more what the fuck, I got in the car. I was getting hungry.  Remembering the "snacks" i grabbed this morning started to lift my spirits.
Nana snacks.
It was dark, I fumbled around and opened the Mini Ritz Peanut-Butter Crackers and threw a handful in my mouth.
I can't begin to describe the horror my taste buds experienced. Somewhere between stale, mold, and shit.
I pulled over, still in the parking lot and spit it out. Door opened, hanging out of the car, spit it out.
Upon inspection of the package I found they expired..
I threw the package and continued to spit as a lady walked up to me and asked if I was vomiting.
No I replied, almost, but no, just spiting out old ass crackers.
She told me she found it offensive. I lit a cigarette.
She informed me I shouldn't  spit on the good green earth....
What the fuck.
I found this intriguing as we were in "that part of town" and there is nothing green about it.
I informed her of that, she didn't respond.
Now I'm not for littering and what not but given the circumstances...yeah.
We exchanged a few choice words.
I watched her get into her Ford Excursion...Diesel no less.
I moved on.

I frantically searched the car for a bottle of water...nothing.
Not wanting to re-enter into the Chinese gas station, I left.

I did what any good, rational, outstanding person would do.
I hit Starbucks for a coffee, and I paid in change. My dealings with plastic were over for the evening.

I"m slightly paranoid about food and its expiration. I slipped up, obviously.

So kids, when Granny sends a snack for the road..check the date.
Oh and pay cash for gas.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

You say it's your birthday

So yeah...
My Blackberry chimed at me this morning, I looked at it, one eye still shut.
Shit! I have a appointment today!?...oh, its my birthday.
I'm not sure if this makes me a really busy cool guy, or just a guy desperate to fill up my calender.
Either way, this is my corny birthday blog post.
Happy Birthday me.

On my 5th birthday, my mother bought me the 45 single of this song.
Thought I'd share.